Hey hey hey
So, first, I'd like to say sorry for not blogging for quite a while. I just literally haven't thought about blogging and the last time I did, I was in a very different state of mind.
I feel a lot better since then and to be honest, I didn't even realise that I wasn't really okay. All it took for me to feel better was to talk about all this things that had been huge weights on my chest and as soon as I had said it out in the open, it's like my life had a bit of purpose back.
To be honest, not much has changed since then except for my mindset and plans.
I have been busy lately writing songs and taking myself on little adventures around Melbourne. I spend a lot of time alone, but I love it and love being able to do my own thing by myself, I am so content being by myself, especially now that I'm not all down in the dumps about life.
I feel like I have so much more purpose and so many new ideas about what I want to achieve in my life and what I really want to get out of life and this has all come about from spending more time surrounding myself with music, singing and recording. I get such an awesome thrill recording a song and then putting it up on Soundcloud or YouTube to have people see/hear it and that's what makes me know that I want to do it for the rest of my life. You only understand what it's like if you have experienced something similar. Likewise, my main passion is actually performing in front of people.
I perform once a month at a local wine bars' open mic night and though most of my performance goes unnoticed by the crowds as they are there to socialise with their friends (I don't mind it at all), it's the times when I start a particular song that may be a well known one or more quiet, guitar-concentrated piece and everyone just sort of stops and listens, turning to look at me, those moments are the most amazing ones. Even if I sound like crap, just having people taking that time to turn around and listen to you performing really warms your heart.
Having instances like these really help you to want to work hard and concentrate on that passion and it has made me decide to go against myself a little bit and take that plunge into uni next year. I want to learn my passion even more, meet industry professionals, network and get myself out there, get myself known in the cliques I eventually want to be big in.
So since April the 30th, I've truly redefined myself, figured out what I want most and squashed out the thoughts that made me constantly unhappy and constantly feeling all alone in the world. I'd never been to such a weird place like that before and really hope I never go back to one like it, I didn't even realise how down I felt and it was all down to not feeling 100% passionate about how I was to spend the next couple of years.
Eventually, my main goal is to end up in London performing, becoming well known but as a very wise young man said to me, "You've got your big goal of London, but no goals of how to actually get there" (he didn't say those words, but he said something like that).
So I'm setting goals, my first major one, get into a Bachelor of Music course for next year.
My first minor one, continue playing at the open mic night.
Start getting my name out there and hopefully, one day, my dream will come true, but no dream comes true without hard work and determination.
If you read this, thank you for actually taking the time out of your day! If you are someone who regularly watches my YouTube videos, thank you because not many people take notice when I post them on Facebook and it's the special few who do that really matter. So, once again, thank you!
Hopefully, you'll see me blogging again soon :)
Elise
xx
