I work hard planning, writing and recording songs and videos for my YouTube because I'm trying to get my name out there in that aspect and to have someone say that when they're famous, I can just mooch off of their popularity makes me feel sick.
First of all, those people who don't really have that much passion or work that hard on getting their name out there prove that they're not 100% committed to ending up where I want to be.
I've taken a year off of schooling to focus on honing in and developing my guitar, singing and songwriting skills and, starting next year, am going to devote myself to a 3 year course on the music industry and music performance, so to be told that I don't have to work hard, I can just be that person that becomes famous because my friend is famous really truly makes me angry.
To be honest, when this person said what they did to me, the first thing that popped into my mind was that they thought that I wasn't going to be good enough to become successful. I created this scenario in my head that they believed that in order for me to achieve what I want, I was going to have to get help from more successful friends and that just bought me down.
The worst part is is that this person is someone who would "make it" simply because they seem to have a good support base.
I have three solid viewers of my videos - not including my family -, one being my very best friend and the other two those supportive people who will always like and watch when I link my videos.
Other than that, the majority of people on my Facebook (not all, there are still others who will like or comment) ignore when I post a link to a cover or a vlog.
I've been making videos on YouTube since May of 2011 (To put that into perspective, that's longer than big YouTubers like Mazzi Maz, Caspar Lee, the Janoskians and Jacks Gap, all accounts that have subscriber numbers in the 100,000 to million range) and sure, my first ones were awkward makeup tutorials that were terrible quality and inconsistent, but I eventually began to put more up and more consistently. In those 2 and a bit years, I've only managed to gain 83 subscribers.
It makes you feel there's no point. I feel like my videos are ok and I take a lot of 'inspiration' from the bigger YouTubers, but I think that if I was seen as a more 'cool' person, my videos would have a ton more views. Things like this make me wonder; if I was to someday become popular on YouTube or live out my dream of becoming known as a musician, would these friends who don't really acknowledge my videos now suddenly decide I was worth their time? It will be interesting to see!
So basically, I lack the 'cool' factor. Which is true, I'm a dork, but I'm a dork who knows what I want however takes little things to heart, like what this person said to me.
I'm probably making it into a bigger deal than it is, but when someone says something like that to you, it's not something you can just forget about.
With all this said, watch my latest video!
Sorry, this was more of a inconsistently ranty post, but I didn't feel like keeping the thoughts in!
Thank you for reading, I love you :) :)
Elise
xx
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